What we usually hear tells us differently, and there have been times when I’ve been very angry because occasionally, there has been an isolated incident when I failed to do the task entrusted in me to the expectations of those who gave it to me, and I have been judged based on it, as incapable or irresponsible. Taking it very personally, I would mentally keep going over it, thinking that if they were going through whatever I was going through at the time, they wouldn’t have done even half of what I’m doing. Then, another thought would pop up – what if they would have somehow managed? I mean, I would definitely justify myself because it’s me they’re talking about. Do they have a point?
After much reflection, I’ve realized that maybe in just one angle, it may be a good thing. Most of us hate to be pointed out, and invariably, humiliated. So, in a college environment, maybe this could have a positive effect? We would work harder next time, at least if it is to mentally give them the message – “Hah! Who’s incapable now?”.
Unless we throw in the towel and say “They’re right. I’m incapable – so I’m just giving up. What difference does it make anyway?” thereby closing all chances of improvement then and there, I guess the usual human tendency is to do better the next time, just to get back at those who humiliated you, or we would resort to the most healthiest way – we would try to be better at it next time, as a means of personal growth.
Whatever their intention was in pointing you out, I guess the healthiest way to handle it is to make use of the opportunity to grow – slowly, if you must, but to grow anyway. That way, if the person who was being judgmental had good intentions, they would encourage you, help you to take the next step and then another. If those people had bad intentions, then this will definitely be a way to prove them wrong. There is a good chance that those people will change their opinion of you, at some point – if that matters – like, if the person is a lecturer/teacher or anyone whose opinion of you is important for whatever reason (even if it is just for getting internal marks).
I mean, although those moments can be extremely humiliating, is it such a bad thing for them to urge you to work towards perfection? I would like to argue that point sometimes, but then, thinking straight, I believe that maybe they need not be too forceful, but the very effort they put into their work to create an environment where everyone does their jobs to their best ability itself is something worth praising. Initially, it may seem ridiculous, but looking at it again, from a third person’s point of view, discipline and an attempt to perfection comes only from a very efficient environment, that is straight laced and absolutely determined to keep things running smoothly, and at optimal levels, so I think it’s nice to look at it as an honour to be a part of such a system instead of slacking due to negligence or laziness, and then cribbing about what a nasty system it is.
In most other aspects, I guess being judgmental is a very hurtful, annoying thing. What do you say?
(This is more of a note to myself – just thought it was worth sharing, which is why it is posted here. I would love to hear comments/suggestions/additions – anything.)
