|
A charming little tale where Little Red Riding Hood isn't so
little, and is actually the wolf who eats up her childhood sweetheart,
Peter. Apparently, the Evil Queen actually isn't so evil - just cold and
manipulative, and the voice in the mirror is Aladdin's genie who Snow White's
father frees. The genie falls in love with the Evil Queen and gets trapped in a
mirror caz he stupidly wished to be with her forever. Funny how her mother,
Cora is far more Evil, and the Evil Queen, despite being so devious and manipulative
throws a pissy fit over Snow White telling Cora her secret, when it was
actually Cora who killed Daniel, her love. Still, she remains not-so-evil until
she learns from the Mad Hatter and Dr. Frankenstein that Daniel cannot be
raised from the dead. At this point, she suddenly becomes cold and malicious
and eventually kills her father, on a selfish whim, even though it is clear
that he loves him so much. To redeem herself of this cruel deed, she adopts a
baby and names him Henry. Rumpelstiltskin, always being one step ahead of her,
being her teacher and the one to whom the Evil Queen turns to for everything,
very smartly procures Snow White's grandson for her to adopt and doesn't tell
her who he actually is. 
For the first time in
history, the eternal villain, Cap'n Hook happens to be the hottest man on the
show, with the Mad Hatter and the Huntsman coming in next, despite there being
Prince Charming, and the other Princes who are usually described in such
flowery terms by the brothers Grim. 
Also, Prince Charming was
briefly betrothed to King Mitus's daughter, Abigail against his wishes, and he
helped her free her love, the knight who her father had turned into gold by
accident. He then rides off into the sunset, looking for a now very hostile
Snow White.
Oddly, Maleficent is
locked away in a tower, where she turns into a dragon when she's bored and
somehow keeps a golden egg in her throat/stomach with the most powerful spell
for years on end and it just doesn't move. What does a dragon eat, I wonder?
Apparently, it was not a Fairy God Mother who helped
Cinderella to go to the ball, but Rumpelstitskin, who did it in exchange for
her first born - so it wasn't just any Queen in a far-away land, but our very
own Cinderella. That night, Cinderella found love and Rumpelstiltskin got the
Fairy God Mother’s wand. So everyone went to sleep happy. 
Hansel and Gretel didn't wander off into the Blind Witch's
yummy cottage by accident, but were there on the Evil Queen's orders,
retrieving an apple...AN APPLE!!
Pinocchio doesn't stay a
little boy - he grows up, and turns back into a puppet because he wasn't being
a good boy.
So, now, Mulan has no
Chinese boyfriend after all and falls in love with Sleeping Beauty's love, and
then he gets killed by a wrathe. Sleeping Beauty seems to be a "dumb
blond", or rather, the medieval version of one.
Sir Lancelot was friends with Snow White, and gets
killed...also by Cora. Now, Cap'n Hook is leading Snow White, her daughter,
Emma, Sleeping Beauty AND Mulan to the Beanstalk, where, I'm pretty sure they
will kick some giant's butt before somehow exacting revenge on Cora. Small
world, huh? :D So now, Cap'n hook turns out to be the sailor who stole
Rumpelstiltskin's wife when he was human, and it wasn't Peter Pan who cut his
hand off – it was Rumpelstiltskin,once he became the Dark One, so Hook's actually
mad at Rumpelstiltskin, not Peter Pan, caz Peter Pan does not exist so far, and
no sign of Mr.Tick-tock crocodile.
All that said, it is by
far the most enchanting and elaborately told story ever, and is precisely what
makes it so compelling. I mean, they had to somehow link all these fairy tales
to make a long, long story...the brothers Grim would be so proud. :)
