Why is love such a confusing emotion?

All of us have experienced love in some form at some point, and in my experience, love takes you to such great heights, but also has the ability to accidentally drop you all the way down, and shatter you to a million pieces in the blink of an eye. I believe it's all because of the expectations attached to it, and also, the vulnerability it involves.

Besides all that, there is this issue, where one person loves more than the other, and therefore gets set up to face disappointment in various ways, and that too, repeatedly. This is true, even in the mother and child bond - the strongest of them all, then where do the other, day to day relationships stand?

So I guess there is no relationship where love is involved, where there is no pain or hurt. However, is there an easier way to handle things, to make the arguments into discussions, all the anger into mere displays of concern, where both people are both -  sensitive to each other's feelings and pleasantly receptive to each other's worries and concerns?

What I'm trying to say is that, at some point, one person gets overwhelmed or suffocated by the other person's love, so possessiveness or concern is met with a violent retort that may momentarily cut the other person short, but not put them at ease. In fact, it hurts them, and makes them wonder what they do wrong, when the only mistake they ever really made is to love a little too much.

While some prefer to dwell on their hurt and verbalize their concerns continuously, other people suffer in silence. The truth is, while talking about it till your friends know your story by heart may not really help you feel better, suffering in silence also doesn't help.  Where one validates your pain each time you pronounce the negative words, the other is like stale food shut in a box - it'll putrefy and stink up your system, just as the bad gas fills up the box the stale food is shut in.  The only other option is to move on, but then, how many times will you have to move on before you find the ideal partner who will embrace you for what you are, and love you despite your flaws? If you eventually meet them, what is the guarantee that they won't be loving you too much, and hence facing the same that you went through?

Love always tends to involve a vicious circle of some sort, no matter what the issue is, because things don't always stay easy, simple and comfortable. There is jealousy, possessiveness, expectations, compromises, dissatisfaction, distraction, disappointments, a complicated code of honour to follow, so many things to consider, and your entire thinking is expected to magically transform and shift from a "me" to a "we"...and from "I" to "us". There is a lifestyle change, an attitude change and many other changes. Most of them happen unbeknownst to the people involved, but become blatantly clear for all those around them to see.

Whether we like it or not, most of us change, at least to a given extent when we fall in love. Although it may not be such a bad thing, I feel that when someone falls in love, it should be with the entire person, not just parts of who they are, and then learn to love whatever else they get to see in them, under different circumstances. That way, they can both enjoy each other's differences rather than fight over it.

Meanwhile, love also means vulnerability, because it's almost impossible to hold back and keep lying to someone you care so much about. Them knowing you so well is at times a problem, and baring your soul to the wrong person is a constant risk. Either way, baring your soul is a given, at some point, and when that happens, the vulnerability increases, and so does the chances of getting hurt. It's like walking without shoes on sharp stones. You know that it's going to hurt you at some point - you don't know how much, but it will hurt you for sure, and you still chose to take your shoes off. The longer you walk,  the more you will get hurt, it is pretty much the same with love.

Above all, people have different priorities - that may also be a reason to hurt one of the two. Like I said - a very complicated emotion that makes use of pretty much most other emotions attached to it. Just one emotion to encompass all of it - it can be either that awesome or that terrible.

It could either make you feel alive again or hurt you to the extent that you become dead to the world - you feel nothing, you trust no one - you exist as cold, hard stone.

You could either soar or crash land, and your emotions can die a gruesome death.

People have lost their minds and some have been driven to take their own lives for the sake of love.

Meanwhile, others have used it as a stepping stone to grow - either the hurt makes them want to prove themselves or the sheer love brings out the best in them.


When love comes into the picture, there are also a multitude of sacrifices to make - to each one, it will be different, but no one escapes it, and yet we all hope for the day when we find that one person who will be worth all this.


To me, love seems to look like a double-edged sword, with one, merciless end dipped in poison. And yet, we believe that "to have loved and lost is better than to have not loved at all". How true is that?

So is there a right and/or wrong in love? Is there a limit? Is a lot of space all that necessary? Why can't things be easy, simple, comfortable and just be natural?

Tell me how you look at this, what you feel, and if you have things to add, please do.